literature

the dissection of matricide

Deviation Actions

Daily Deviation

December 2, 2015

the dissection of matricide by A-Lovely-Anxiety is a sometimes frantic, sometimes gruesome, always powerful poem about loathing, cleansing, and never quite getting free.

Featured by LiliWrites

A-Lovely-Anxiety

Published: Nov 3, 2015

9.4K Views

Literature Text

_{the first thing you have to learn is how
if you pull and mold your nose with
your fingers, it will shape the cartilage
in slopes and thin streams to allow
the slimy species of scaly fish
to reproduce and (meiosis)
in the paper thin skin that separates
a chapter from a novel

people do not smell like roses when
they wake up and they don’t keep
their fingernails clipped the way
you do - instead they wake up with
the leftover taste of rum rolling around
in their mouth, forgetting
that they called you at three in the
morning to wonder why you
never kissed them back that one time,
and how you got out of that
ticket when a cop pulled you over for
speeding because your tears
were never sad, they were rubber
burning on the streets, the cacophony
of nebulous bathroom tile sobs;
projectile vomit;
eleven-hundred pixels and miles per
hour and you still can’t fly

the second thing you have to learn
is that you must wear your
culture like a badge until he peels
your skin away like they’re clothes,
clothes that are sullied from the
slices of metal particles you’ve made
in your marrow frameworkings,
you’ve taken your hands and pulled
your rib cage apart like it’s the
cover of the first - last book
you’ll ever read; you hear the flutterings
of a heart, strings vibrating with
every insults he throws at you,
“yellow, white-washed,
no-one-is-going-to-love-you
like-i-will-love-you-love-you"
and so you will bend like avaricious
children, with their pockets lined
green with envy, eyes like glassy
candies waiting to be plucked
by the vultures that swarm the roads
for an easy dinner -
just like he stood above you,
making you feel like david amongst
a room full of goliaths, except
for the fact that you never win

she was like cerberus,
spitting unkind words like dog slobber,
licking her chops when she was
finished digesting you and
though you sat at the gates of
hell and screamed lackluster
apologies like you were throwing up
last night’s dinner,
she held your hand like you were a
balloon about to float away and;
god;
you’d cut off one head and another
would sprout back like
weeds, polluting your sandbox
feet and when you dug your
toes into the wet earth she
would only remind you, plaiting limp
locks with tangled fingers full of
thread, that she was the only
water you came from, covenant,
blood is thicker than water blood
is thicker than water
she birthed you in a bath full of
plasma pieces, skin wriggling
like worms through eye holes of the
needles she used to break your
nervous system;
pins and needles;
three heads too many, too many
mouths to feed,
she would cut you open as many
times as she pleased,
licking her own wounds instead of
the one’s she gave you

the third thing you have to
learn is that everything is lesson,
and lessons must be learned.
if you play with fire, you will grow
up to turn the hot water on every
night to boil your skin, scraping
petri-dishes full of
your own microorganisms so that
you may look through a telescope
and see that you are made
of the same matter of the stars,
but you are not the same matter at
all; you do not matter,
you are not matter,
you will waste away and they won’t
hold a funeral for someone who
kills themselves
(or maybe they will; maybe they’ll
pinch your cheeks to bring
color back into a lifeless body;
maybe they will spoon-feed you until
the nutrients will flow through
your fingers and allow you to twitch
through your death a thousand
times) just like they won’t
remember someone who was always
buried six feet under the ocean
lining

if you move a thousand miles away
and marry a boy who’s always won
the game of tag instead of staying in
the same fucking swamp you’ve
lived in your entire life, lifeless, then
it will look like a suicide rather than
a matricide}