slowly, and then all at once

you find him because you're lonely, (well, it's actually the opposite.)  he finds you because his wardrobe is black and his shoes are scuffed and he asks you where your castle is.  you're the only princess he sees 'round here.  the rain soaks into his shirt and he curses it, grinning.  and damn girl, you follow him, because you think you see some kinda warmth in his ice blue eyes.

-

it takes you days to get suspicious.  he goes on a world-wide trip around the globe and you follow him with your fingertip on a map resting on your coffee table.  he packed his clothes and his cologne and a picture of you, but it's buried underneath the suit he brought (just in case.)  it takes you days to get suspicious, because the day after he comes home he smells of crisp whiskey and key-lime margaritas and you think you smell chanel no.5 along his jawline.  but you don't ask questions because he takes your wrist in his and pulls you onto the couch.  grins at you, in the most devilish of ways, like he knows what you are thinking.  but you are not an open book.  you are just a safe-box that has been in one too many fires.

-

it takes you three weeks into july to believe it.  the key under his front-door mat works just as fine as his own, and you learn this at 8 am in the morning when you bring him a cake for his birthday.  it's strawberry and chocolate, his favorite, but as soon as you tiptoe in the door, it's smeared on his wooden floors.  he's shouting your name, and for a moment, you freeze.  eyes wide.  jaw open.  but as soon as her voice tangles with his, you're shaking your head and fleeing.  you can see his wedding ring sit on a chain around his neck, and you wonder how stupid you really are.

-

and your fingers rip and bloody, curling under the tile-flooring in your bathroom.  your mouth is frothing with the overflowing water in the bathtub.  it's ice cold (and you remember the color of his eyes for a moment.)  you body is thrashing, trying to save itself.  it's as if its fighting, screaming to save itself, and your knuckles bruise from the sheer force of having to keep you drowning.  and your lungs fill up with liquid, choking.  eyes wide.  jaw open.

-

when he finds you in the morning, you look fragile.  like an angel with broken wings.  blue always was a pretty color on you, he thinks.