this is me giving you up

somewhere in my heart you came in like a hurricane
shoving everything that stood in your path to the side and i let you because
maybe my friends were just clogging my arteries and
maybe the things i wanted were just going to badden my blood.

the fire that was within you burned holes into my skin
you were the heat atop the flames that made my vision lack tension and i was
blinded--your hands were so much bigger than mine
you embodied a giant and you crushed me like i was a weed
i should have been scared at the fact that you were over a foot taller than me but
someone told me that if you stare a tiger down
they will submit to you
unfortunately, you did not submit to me, but i gave way of my own control and threw caution to the wind

i think of you as analogies in my mind because when i see things
they remind me of you or the way you used to hold me
i see stones sitting in the creek behind my best friend's house and think of your eyes and
i sing songs that never applied to me as much as they do in this moment because of you
they say that your first love will always be like a price tag on your heart
because the next one to walk into your life has to pay for your baggage and
always has to size up to the one who you loved first.

though i may try not to, i will always compare the rest to you
i will still think about you and wonder who made the wrong choices and who was right
and i will never forget the words that you whispered through over 4,000 miles
on nights when you were lonelier than i.

you are the only one who i did not want to be right about.