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Submitted on
November 25, 2013
Submitted with Writer


37 (who?)
life is one big fucking lesson that someone decided
i needed to learn.  and i guess
that's just not okay with
me anymore, because i'm tired of being
played with and stepped on
like some decorative oriental rug whose thread is
coming undone.

last night
my best friend told me that
the more marks i made upon my skin
the less of a chance i would
have at someone loving me.  who the hell decided
that blood lines aren't pretty and
makeup wears off too fast sometimes and
who the hell decided that
i wasn't beautiful enough to love myself, because
i'm tired of playing a fucking
guessing game, trying to point fingers at who's who.
i'm like a subordinate clause in
some people's sentences, it seems.  they
don't need me, but i sure fucking
need them.

i wish someone could
photoshop the scars off of me.
maybe then someone
would love me for what's underneath, and not
what's on top.

the worst part is that i'm not even
unhappy.  i'm just empty.  numb.
sitting here wishing
that i was just dead already because nothing
could possibly hurt worse
than what they've done to me.  nothing could
possibly bring any more tears
than the sound of my blood hitting the tile.
happy, happy,
be fucking happy please.

i just want to be normal.
full title: close your goddamn naive eyes; they'll only lead you to the end of the earth, not back

long title was long.

this is just me venting because i want to cry but my eyes are too fucking sore from last night to even think about it.
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ravenoftheclans Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
For Sun and his fucking friends...destroyed all of my fucking dreams and life...all of it was taken away from just a few words...stupid bitch...this is great though...
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This. :heart:
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this poem as it is brings across a very strong emotion with clever metaphors and clear, bold words.

But please don't become normal - become happy, but stay what we love about you: special.
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
awh darling, thank you very much. :heart:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you are welcome :heart:
AnythingBtOrdinary Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry that your in such a bad place and I hope that you can kick the people out of your life who don't deserve you for GOOD and find people who truly love you and care about you!:) I loved the subordinate clause part by the way.:)
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much, darling!
chancerox Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
kind of reminded me of the song young & beautiful by lana del ray -- my love you are beautiful, and still young. i hate to see such a wonderful person in so much pain :( but this stunningly raw -- i love it. 
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i do love that song.  but thank you.  i'm glad you like it.
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