literature

abash

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Literature Text

he told me that
he didn’t want to be married in a church because
churches were too holy and he was
probably going to hell anyway,
and he was probably scared of a
god that never answered his prayers and shit.  
he didn’t want to be married anyway,
even though his
girlfriend of two years turned fiancee
within a couple months of knowing me.
 
i wonder if they’re gonna get married or not.  
i wonder if they’re gonna start the
family never wanted. or at least that's
what he told me.
i wonder if she’s gonna be the blushing bride-
no wait,
that’s me,
because she was always a strong character and i was not.  
she drew hearts on her cheek even though
i don’t believe she had one and
he just ate it up like it was heroin.

heroin
hero-in
you were never my hero, you were
never the hero.  i had to save myself.

but anyway,
he told me if he was anything,
it was a villain, and i told him that
there's no such things as villains because villains never
think that they are villains and i guess
that should've told me that he was up
to no good.  he was out to hurt me.

he told me he never meant to hurt me.

and so i ask,
"was he a bad person?"  the boy who
is helping cradle the roots that is
my heart said that he didn't really know.
but then later his voice stuttered and he said yeah,
because it was a decision; it was a decision to hurt me.

i wonder if he ever told her about me.
maybe he likes black curls instead of bleached waves.
maybe he likes tall, voluptuous figures
rather than short, curvy girls.
maybe he likes deep, knowing women, not
girls who still ask "why?"

but her eyes were the same as mine:
rich and brown and sad.
a companion piece to "bone brittle" because i don't write sequels

i write continuity through my pieces, not just a continuation.
© 2014 - 2024 A-Lovely-Anxiety
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haphazardmelody's avatar
I just love the ending here.